The Houston Rockets and Oklahoma City Thunder swapped Chris Paul and Russell Westbrook. Thankfully the Woj bomb didn’t drop after midnight on a Friday this time.
Oklahoma City also added to their massive collection of first-round picks. They’ll essentially have 15 picks from 2020 to 2026.
As a Houston Rockets fan, I’m cautiously optimistic about a Westbrook and Harden pairing. I’m trying to talk myself into this, and that Harden will actually listen to Russ because they’re really friends. Russ is a well-known family man, so maybe he can curb some of Harden’s late nights and strip club proclivities, too.
Each of the first-round picks has 1-4 protections on them, and Chris Paul’s schtick was starting to become a little too much. These are all positives for me.
You can only have so many guys on your team flopping for foul calls. Defending James Harden’s flopping is time-consuming enough.
It nags me the most that CP3’s contract was unbearable, and trading that away for one that is even richer and longer will probably keep me up a few nights. At least Russ plays more than 50 games in a season and still makes All-Star teams…
To try and convince myself that it could be worse, I’m reminding myself of 13 (Harden’s #13 + Russ’ #0=13) duos that I’ve tried to talk myself into before.
Alcohol and Texting
It always seems like a great idea until it isn’t.
Red Bull and Vodka
The resulting drunk is always just way too much energy, and the morning after is even worse.
Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer on Two and a Half Men
Kutcher was hotter and richer, but he didn’t have Sheen’s juice.
Adam Sandler and Any of His On-Screen Female Partners
Sandler’s most believable love interest is Kevin James in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. In what world do Sandler and Selma Hayek make sense?
Chipotle and Netflix ‘N Chill
Two things that can make a great night, but two things that should be enjoyed on separate evenings.
Republicans and Democrats
When has a politician ever delivered?
Boston Red Sox Pitchers and Fried Chicken
This will never stop being funny to me.
Hue Jackson and Head Coaching Jobs
The guy who is 11-44-1 also thinks he was at his best in Cleveland and going 3-36-1. This one was never a good idea and will also remain hilarious until the end of time.
Brock Osweiler and DeAndre Hopkins
Nuk is and always will be awesome, but Osweiler… I’m at a loss for words. Hopefully, Daryl Morey doesn’t have to attach picks to dump Russ and his contract after one season.
LeBron James and Shaquille O’Neal
It’s not a recipe for success when one of the “athletes” appears to be warding off a stroke as he “runs” up and down the floor.
Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson
Two guys who care more about scoring 30 points than winning. I wonder why this didn’t work out.
Charles Barkley and Scottie Pippen
Two guys over 30 joining forces in Houston. I guess history isn’t supposed to repeat itself…?
Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady
Shit… There’s no way Russ and Harden are ever going to work in Houston.