Welp, there you have it. I’ve screwed my pooch three weeks in a row. I’ve thought about tucking my tail and running, but we’re still up overall. So screw it. The show must go on. To the recap!

The Recap & Running Damage Total

• College Football Picks (0-0) 57.1% [+$1,185]
• College Basketball Picks (6-6-0) 50.0% [-$40]
  • 11-9 including parlayed/teased bets 55.0%
• NBA Picks (0-0) 57.9% [+$310]
• NHL Picks (0-0) 100.0% [+$100]
• NFL Picks (2-4) 39.0% [+$631.19]
  • 2-4 including parlayed/teased bets 60.7%
  • 1-2 on completed Futures
• Against the Spread (5-5-0) 55.0% [+$930]
• Straight Up (0-5) 42.5% [+$420]
• On the Tease (0-1) 37.5% [-$105]
• On Parlays(0-2) 25.0% [+$941.19]
• On Futures (1-2) 20.0% [$0.00]
  • $600 in undecided Futures

The Best Win

We actually won our five way parlay! Granted we took some decently big favorites, but we also took some risks. Anytime you can turn $100 into $387, I think you’ve done well. I should try and do that again this week.

The Worst Beat

Where to even begin. We lost some, and we lost some bad. NC State at Wake Forest – LOL. Tennessee actually lost outright at home to Georgia – so that’s a big fail. I’m going to go with Duke barely skating by Clemson at home. They were 9.5 point favorites and we teased them down to 4.5. Then they go ahead and win by two measly points at Cameron Indoor. Thanks a lot you pretentious d-bags. There goes our teaser.

This Week’s Board

Original Bankroll: $5,000.00
Current Bankroll: $5,743.75 ($700 outstanding on futures bets)

The Arbitrary Rules: 10 picks ATS or O/U (Against the Spread or Over/Under), 5 picks SU (straight up), 1 teaser, 1 3-way parlay, 1 5-way parlay, 1 random ass futures bet

The Source: Vegas Insiders (games 2/17/17 to 2/19/17)

The Picks:

• Against the Spread
  1. CBB: Notre Dame (-1.5) at North Carolina State ($110 to win $100)
     • I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if you think I’m betting on NC State ever again.
  2. CBB: Kansas (+1.5) at Baylor ($110 to win $100)
     • Baylor has not been overly impressive as of late. Even in wins. I’ll take the better team here.
  3. CBB: Texas Tech at West Virginia (-11) ($110 to win $100)
     • West Virginia has a tendency to house some fools at home.
  4. CBB: Colorado at Oregon (-11) ($110 to win $100)
     • This is the revenge game where Oregon pantses Colorado like they did to Arizona.
  5. CBB: Florida at Mississippi State (+10.5) ($110 to win $100)
     • This is Florida’s first game missing a key piece with a torn ACL. Grab the points here.
  6. CBB: Florida State (-5.5) at Pittsburgh ($110 to win $100)
     • I’ve lost a lot of money betting against Pitt this year. They owe me.
  7. CBB: Nebraska (+5) at Ohio State ($110 to win $100)
     • Nebraska has beaten Indiana and Maryland on the road in the B1G. I think they take it to the Buckeyes.
  8. CBB: Michigan State (+9.5) at Purdue ($110 to win $100)
     • I get Izzo in February and 9.5 points? Sure.
  9. CBB: Illinois at Iowa (-5) ($110 to win $100)
     • Illinois is bad, and they should feel bad.
  10. CBB: Virginia (+4.5) at North Carolina ($110 to win $100)
      • I hate Virginia. Why do I do this? I just don’t think they lose two in a row.

• Straight Up (Money lines won’t be out until Saturday, but here are some underdogs I think can win)
  1. CBB: Virginia (+175) at North Carolina ($100 to win $175)
     • Like I said, I really don’t think they lose two in a row.
  2. CBB: Auburn (+200) at Texas A&M ($100 to win $200)
     • If Auburn can win at TCU, I think they can win at A&M.
  3. CBB: Missouri State at Drake (+160) ($100 to win $160)
     • Since Rutter took over, Drake has been testy at the Knapp Center.
  4. CBB: St. Mary’s at BYU (+175) ($100 to win $175)
     • St. Mary’s is good, but the Provo is a tough place to play.
  5. CBB: Kansas State at Texas (+115) ($100 to win $115)
     • Kansas State has lost six of seven. Why are they favored here?

• 6-point; 3-Team Teaser ($100 to win $170)
  1. CBB: Notre Dame (+.5) at NC State, Texas Tech at West Virginia (-6), Illinois at Iowa (PK)
     • Teaser rules: All 3 teams must cover spreads 5 points in their favor. For example Notre Dame was originally a 5,5-point favorite and we’ve teased the line down to a 0.5 point favorite.

• 3-Way Parlay ($100 to win $600)
  1. CBB: Kansas (+1.5) at Baylor, Colorado at Oregon (-11), Florida State (-5.5) at Pittsburgh
     • I’m just taking better teams here. In my opinion at least.

• 5-Way Parlay ($100 to win $922.43)
  1. CBB: Notre Dame (-125) at North Carolina State, Villanova (-260) at Seton Hall, Illinois at Iowa (-215), Central Florida (-180) at East Carolina, South Carolina (-125) at Vanderbilt
     • Let’s see if we can go two weeks in a row!

• Random Futures
  1. CBB: Louisville (+1600) to win NCAA Championship
     • Just throwing another team out there before their odds get smaller.

The Damage: 19 bets, $2,000 on the table, $3,517.43 in potential winnings.

The Disclaimer: Don’t actually play these bets. I’m a degenerate and I’m sure this column will be bankrupt in a few short weeks. Do not construe any of this as actual gambling advice. Your bets and your results are your responsibility, and neither I, nor TGS, bear any responsibility for your personal actions.